For the better part of this year I’ve been fighting a mean bout of writer’s block. I’m not sure why. I’ve been reading a lot lately. Desperately trying to absorb the words of others in hopes of stimulating my own creativity. It’s not as if I have nothing to say. I have about 7 pieces I’ve been working on simultaneously and somehow I’ve come to the conclusion that absolutely none of them are good enough to see the light of day. Sometimes I feel as though there’s a certain self importance that comes with expression that I don’t allow myself to take part of because I’m too self conscious.
I really have a deep admiration for all of you that make this stuff look so easy. Of course no one spends the time along with you toiling over each and every word and idea, but I can only assume expression through writing has to come more naturally to some than for others.
Aside from the writer’s block and feeling as though what I have to say once a piece IS finished is somehow invalid because, Fuck??!! What Do I Know About Life????!!!!! I fear there’s a lack of confidence that someone will detect and ultimately judge me for.
I’m 26. I thought that at this point in my life, somehow, self confidence would be bestowed upon me and by some miracle everything in my life would turn around. Depression and anxiety? Cured. Shitty 9 to 5 job that I despise? No more. Money issues? No booty? No social life? All cured with a renewed sense of self and a little self confidence.
I’m beginning to think I’m gonna have to actually work for the things I want. Which is slightly disheartening having grown up a millennial and then suddenly there’s a shortage of congratulatory participation awards to boost your self confidence.
ANYWHO…..How do you guys fight writer’s block and the feeling to trash everything that you write for fear of not relating to anyone or sounding whiney and stupid? Let me know.